My New Life: At the School of Mary

Saying 'yes' with Mary 

When I arrive in Bangkok in a few days, it will have been 9 months- nearly to the day- since my miniature annunciation last January. Only instead of an angel proclaiming "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you... you will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus", there was Sr. Regine on the phone revealing in her charming French accent, "Hi Natalie? So... actually... if you give your yes, you'll be going much... further... than we had discussed. We would like to send you to.... umm... Bangkok. Thailand." And I'm 100% certain I didn't respond with anything resembling "Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." I think it was actually closer to "[nervous laughter]... Really?... [more nervous laughter]... Yeah, can you explain that to me a little bit?" Teach me your ways, Mary. I've got a ways to go. Needless to say I did, indeed, end up 'giving my yes' that night- a small yes enabled by and tied up in Mary's surrender to God's plan. Though my fiat will not bring forth a child, it will bring forth unique and abundant new life; it's how God's calling me to bring Christ into the world right now. And my response 9 months ago will only continue to be a yes insofar as I continue to surrender to God and choose love in every moment. To make my very life, like Mary's, a yes.

Canoeing with Sr. Regine, my favorite messenger of good news, at the International Center for a Culture of Compassion during my orientation in New York

Waiting with Mary

I'd be lying if I said this long wait to begin my life with Heart's Home hasn't been painful. Besides the excitement and anticipation of the new, there's also the fear of the unknown. Will I be able to learn this crazy language? Really be myself? Be of any true consolation to anyone? Weather the loneliness? It's made me really wonder how Mary felt as she waited for Jesus' birth. What was her advent like? I mean, she knew she was saying yes to God, and she probably had some ideas about what that might look like concretely, but there was certainly more unknown than known at that point. What were her conversations with God like as she waited and longed those nine months? What did it mean for her to treasure all those things she didn't know or understand in her heart? While she's teaching me how to say 'yes', I pray she'll also teach me how to wait with hope and patient trust.

Living humbly with Mary

By and large, life in my community in Bangkok will be a humble, simple one- with much more mundane than spectacular. We'll shop, cook, clean, bathe, and dress as our neighbors do, as we try to authentically enter into and share life with them. Like Mary's mostly hidden life in Nazareth, ours will be one of prayer and simplicity, doing many small things with great love and trusting the fruit they bear.

My Heart's Home rosary- a daily companion